Relationships

Jenn mentioned something to me a while ago, and I've been thinking about it off and on ever since. We were in a discussion about how we see different couples treating each other. Some couples take each other totally for granted, and are at times abusive to each other. Some couples are adoring of each other. In some cases, one person is overbearing while the other is placating. (If you think I'm talking about you, I'm not. I'm just generalizing). In any case, Jenn said that she felt that we had a very good, loving, lasting relationship, and she thought she knew why. She said it has to do with getting burned.

Jenn and I had both been in pretty serious relationships in our past. These were relationships that lasted for a long time, involved serious feelings, and resulted in each of us getting heart broken. Mine was a high school relationship that lasted a little over a year. Hers was a college romance that was off and again for a couple of years. In both cases, we got pretty burned. Jenn's theory is that, since we both got burned, we both know how much hurt we can inflict on each other, and we both know how bad it feels. Since we've been there, we both know we don't want to go there again. So rather than being overly critical of each other, or careless in the way we treat each other, we have a bit of patience.

The more I thought about what she said, the more I thought she may be right. When I got burned, I was pretty depressed. It hurt, bad, and it is something I never want to go through again. It is also something I never want Jenn to feel. And I especially don't want her to hurt like that from something that I do. So I always try to consider what I'm going to say and how she may take it. Sure, there are things that Jenn does that irritate me. I'm sure that there are a lot of things that I do that irritate her. However, before I pick on her for it, or make a big deal out of it, I try to consider if it is really that big of an issue. If I do bring it up, I try not to be mean about it. I just let her know what I think without being harsh. We don't boss each other around, or say hurtful things when we aren't getting along. We just try to talk about what is bothering us, and eventually we work things out.

I think Jenn and I have a great relationship. I love her more than I ever thought I could love a person. Everyday I look forward to coming home to her and Corbin. I don't know what I would ever do without her. If going through the hurt of a bad relationship earlier is the penance I had to pay to enjoy the wonderful relationship I have now, I would do over again in a heartbeat.