At least that is the message I've been getting lately. I turn on the TV, I listen to the radio, I browse the web, I listen to my friends and neighbors. What do I hear? Lots of male bashing. It's kind of frustrating. If I were to believe all of the messages that I receive, I'd believe that all white men are racist, sexist assholes that lie, cheat, steal, and conspire to keep themselves in a position of power while preventing the rest of the world from doing any good. I'm not saying that some of these things aren't true about some men, but to make such an enormouse over-generalization is a little unfair. The next thing I'm going to hear is that I have no room to complain because, being a white man, I've never been prejudiced against. That's a bunch of B.S. I don't care who you are, what color you skin is, what religion you do or don't practice, how much money you have, or where you grew up. All people can, will, and have been prejudiced against for one reason or another. Certainly some groups have been more than others. But to say that the observance of the issue is invalid due to the relatively low number of occurences is absurd.
So what in the world brought all of this up? I've been feeling a little picked on lately. I don't know why. Sometimes I'm just ultra-sensitive, and it could be that. But I feel like people have just been automatically assuming a lot of things because I'm a man. A lot of this has sprung up since telling people that Jenn is pregnant. I feel like I've been convicted of a crime and sentenced to punishment for not doing enough for our baby, and it's not even born yet! People tell me, "Oh, you better change some diapers!" Or, "You're gonna have to help you know!" It's hurtful that people just assume that I wouldn't want to help raise our child. I love our neighbors. They are awesome people, and we have a lot of fun hanging out with them. But the woman makes it very clear that she feels that I am totally incapable as a parent. Jenn she doesn't worry about, but I've obviously got a problem that she has to straighten out. It really pisses me off sometimes. As a for instance, they left for a week long trip last month. As they were leaving, I offered to take care of their cats. The woman said, "Oh, I wouldn't make Jenn do that, she can't handle it since she's pregnant!" Now, I was the one offering to handle the cats, but she just assumed that I was going to pawn off the responsibility on Jenn. It kind of upset me. Then this week, she was talking about how her husband had caught a cold and stayed home from work to rest in bed. She mocked him for having the audacity to rest in bed! I couldn't believe it! For some reason, in her mind, sick men aren't allowed to lie in bed to get better.
I'm just using her for an example though. I get the same type of opinion from lots of people. "Oh, she's pregnant eh? Time to put down the beer and get serious" <wink wink, nudge nudge> People who say these things don't know me, and it irritates me that they would just assume such a poor opinion of me. I work hard. This past month has been especially stressful as we are starting up three major projects and they all have the same due date. I've been traveling all over the state, and working lots of (unpaid) overtime. As soon as I get me head above water on one project, I find out I'm drowning on another one. On the weekends I have to concentrate to get my homework done. I feel like I'm really busting my ass, and then when people treat me like a lazy SOB, I get pissed.
So some of this is just a reaction to stress. Some of it is feeling genuinely offended. And some of it is just me overreacting. That is something that I've been praying about quite a bit lately. I feel like sometimes I get angry too easily, or get hurt feelings to easily. I'm praying that God will help me to find some serenity, and be less quick to anger. I don't get violent or anything. I just get upset and I can be a real sour puss. I'm working on it though.
Wow, this has been a really long rant, and I've vented a lot of inner thoughts and feelings. Oh well, I guess I just felt the need to unload. ;-)