The Tie Project

My tie wearing experiment continues. I really didn't expect to get the kind of negative reaction I've received from wearing a tie. Evidently, it is not socially acceptable to wear ties any longer. A couple of folks have asked if I've been looking for a job. Some have assumed that I had a presentation to give for that nights' class. This is really interesting to me. I'm not sure what it is about my wearing a tie, but it really puts people off. Our friend Jenn came in the office today and saw that I was wearing a tie, and could hardly hide her disgust for it. In any case, the response I've received has been almost universally negative and unsupportive. What is it about ties that makes people so uneasy?

And it's not like I'm pushing the tie thing on anyone else either. I've not asked anyone else to wear a tie. I've not suggested that we should all wear ties. It has been a 100% personal decision. Yet, people seem to feel very threatened. It is as if, when I start wearing a tie, it's going to wash over like a rapidly spreading disease and then everyone will have to wear ties. That's not my goal. It is a very interesting response though.

In fairness, some folks are just giving me a hard time. That's fine, I sort of expect that. Anytime something changes, especially with your look, people are going to react to the change. I'm sure if I shaved my head bald I'd get some ribbing too.

So why am I wearing a tie? I look good in a tie. I'm not trying to be self-centered, vain, or go on a big ego trip or anything. I do look nice wearing a dress shirt and tie though. It isn't horribly uncomfortable either. In fact, it's no worse than any other clothes that I wear. Putting the tie on takes fractionally longer than putting on my "normal" clothes, and it is kind of fun to tie the knot each morning. I like that I look professional. I also like the way Jenn looks at me when I'm dressed nicely. She gives me compliments about it, and thinks I look good. That makes it all worthwhile.


Anonymous said...

Before you post your mind, you should realize that you often do misread people. I had no disgust to hide for your tie. I was merely noticing that you were wearing one and wondered why. It is, after all, quite out of character for you until recently. So, dear friend, the next time you want to make me part of your experiment, please let me know. That way I can tell you exactly what I am thinking. An experiment is only worthwhile if accurate information is collected.

Still your friend,

Adam said...

Hey Jen, thanks for the reply! I hope you didn't take that as an attack on you, it was just the impression I got the day you were in here. Up until the last couple of days, the reaction I've received for wearing a tie has been largely negative. Most of the time people snear while they say it. I know it isn't a comment on me, there are just a lot of people who don't like ties, and they are making an expression about how they feel about ties, not about me. I'm sorry if I misread you, but I can only go on what I feel, and it is easy to get the wrong impression.

You mention that I misread people often. I really appreciate that feedback. I would hate to think that I walk around with the wrong impression about how people feel about me. How can I do better?

Thanks for the input!

Jade Mason